How To Steal Your Boyfriend's Clothes

June 12, 2018

Boyfriend jeans are and have been a thing for a while now. Wearing clothes that are a bit too big for you has the effect of making you look cute. If the fabric is decent, it can also make you pretty cozy. Having all that soft fabric fold over you feels like heaven.


Unfortunately, like with all styles with humble beginnings, "boyfriend clothes" have experienced a huge mark-up with their rise in popularity. Shirts inspired by sports sweaters can now be marked up into the hundreds. So if we're going to stay thrifty, we're going to have to get back to the main source.



"How To Steal Your Boyfriend's Clothes"


Stealing your boyfriend's clothes is a delicate art. There are some pieces of clothes that are a definite no. He'll realize they're gone immediately, smells will rise that you could've never expected, and wearing them late into the day will make you unexpectedly hot. So he're a quick guide to how to properly steal your boyfriend's clothes.


(Quick note: This guide also lends to anyone else who wears traditional masculine clothes, including your dad, brother, girlfriend, ect. As long as it's butch, we're good.)


Single out the suits. Unless your masculine friend is in the business sector, they probably don't wear their "fancy clothes" too much. An oversized suit jacket is very trendy. If you're willing to put on some thick socks you can also steal their loafers.


Ties are also a must. Big ties look nice with collared dresses, especially is you wear jewelry on top. Layered necklaces look best with ties, but feel free to experiment. Ties need to be color coded just like if you were wearing a full suit. Otherwise you might end up looking drunk and confused with nowhere to go.


Next up are sweaters! When isn't is sweater weather. Sweater crop tops literally exist because people want to swear sweaters all the time without worrying about heat exhaustion. When it comes to sweaters, you have to be careful examining the material. If your target is a dude, there is a chance the fabric of his clothes might react negatively with your skin.


Men's skin is typically less sensitive. It's also generally "thicker", which is why men have less of a chance of displaying visual cellulite. (There's more blocking the dimples of fat) Both of these factors makes randomly grabbing sweaters a bad idea. You might find that it's thinner than you first thought, so you'll end up being cold. Or the fabric is rougher, which will result in a rash or you feeling itchy. Take your time feeling sweaters. Start by running over them with your palm, which is one of the more sensitive parts of your body. If it starts to itch, you know the sweater is no good.


Finally we have hats. An over sized hat can be super cute, if not a bit hard to keep on your head. Favor adjustable hats like beanies and ball caps. If you find a fedora, you might want to ask this person if they're going through something or possibly consider never seeing them again.


PURSUE SILK SHIRTS WITH CAUTION. While silky is a naturally strong fabric, which will reduce the chance that the shirt rips, a lot of silky men's shirts absorb smell relatively easy. This is fine if you like this person's cologne/perfume/natural smell, but it also increases the chance that you'll walk out of the house smelling bad. You might be so used to how this person smells from them living in the house that the shirt smells fine until you walk outside. The natural smell of the house will fade away, and you'll be left with a dress shirt that looks great but smells like sadness.

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