Thrifty Korean 10 Step Beauty Routine

September 18, 2018

Feeling comfortable in your skin is really important, but spending money on ten different products to do one thing isn't! In fact, if you're reading this blog, there's a good chance that doing that will leave you with the feeling that you want to die. Mostly because you spend funds you could've allocated to food on something that can't give you food, but starving is beyond the point.


Mmm, avocado on your face. 


If you live glamour without the cost, this ten step cheat sheet is just for you. Get ready to take some notes:


1. Makeup Remover/Oil Cleanser


Before this, I didn't even know oil cleansers were a thing. They sound expensive. Compared to your other makeup remover options they are. Instead of going for a body of oil cleaner, go for the store brand version of makeup wipes. They're just as effective.


2. Water-Based Cleanser


I don't know what the directions mean by this -- I can't imagine a single cleaner that doesn't have water somehow in the recipe. I've never seen someone clean their face with a solid mass. Call me when you see someone getting ready for bed by rubbing a rock over their face.


When it comes to cleansers, I recommend a bar of gentle soap like Dove that lathers. 


3. Exfoliators


Now we're cooking with gas! I love exfoliating. There are all sorts of cheap DIYs on the blog to DIY this, but we'll go with a cheap sugar and olive oil mixture. Both of these ingredients can be bought cheaply by the load, so your scrub will last a while. Just mix equal parts.


4. Toner


Toner tightens the pours and the only "fancy" face thing I ever really splurge on. I recommend one part vinegar with one part filtered water. You'll be able to feel it working, but don't go overboard. Dab the mixture on your thumb and spread it on your face until it runs out before going back for more.


5. Essence


So essence apparently targets fine lines and wrinkles. The other steps on this list (constant moisturizing, sunscreen, etc.) have been enough to keep the elders in my family looking young before splurging on essence. But if you feel like you're starting a little too late, I recommend making the only "splurge" on this list and buying some Retinol. It's the main ingredient in age-fighting skincare products. Essence at it's cheapest seems to start at around $40 for a very small bottle.


6. Ampoules/Boosters/Serums


Ampoules sound vaguely witchy, so of course, I was interested. Mix 1 tablespoon jojoba oil, 1/2 argan oil, 3 drops essential lavender oil and snort it through your pores. I beat the recipe out of a warlock traitor.


7. Sheet Masks


I accept sheet masks as a luxury because they make me feel like a ghost. Boo motherfuckers. Thankfully, CVS hands out these things by the bucket load for less than five dollars. I don't know about Walgreens, they're punks.


8. Eye Cream


Use some of that olive oil you used to make a scrub and dab a little extra under your eyes.


9. Moisturizer


While it's fine to reapply another oil (not olive oil) to your face as a moisturizer if your skin is super dry, any other skin types risk breakouts. You could become an oil MaNiaC and get some grapeseed, but they sell Vaseline body lotion for less than $3. Anything from the people who made petroleum jelly is going to lock in moisture.


10. S.P. F


The sun has been stealing the youth from beauty young maidens since it was assigned an eternity of exile in the sky. Ward, off its evil magicks by drowning yourself in sunscreen. Apply it twice a day under your usual lotion. Start when you step out of the shower in the morning and a second time during your lunch break. It can sweat off and you can't EVER be exposed to the cursed light of the daystar. EVER.

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