Generation Z Are Spending The Day Camping Out In Each Others' Closets Because They Can't Afford To Go To The Mall

September 25, 2019

Growing up right now is kind of weird. If you're in Generation Z entering college or leaving it, you'll find that a lot of your peers might be reinventing "aging landmarks".


Getting a job that has to do with your degree? Haha, what?


Buying a house? Not in this God-forsaken economy.


Hanging out with your friends on the weekend for something bougie like I don't know, getting brunch? Do people still get brunch? Who are we, people who get paid? Haha, I'm not crying, you're crying.


One old landmark that's getting the boot, is inviting your work or class friends out on the weekends because you're trying to expand your social circle since your mom keeps nagging you about getting out, and your feet are wearing a hole in the carpet from the amount of times you've sat in the exact same place on the couch, but then like, once you get there you realize you don't have anything in common besides trading banter, and you can't really afford to buy anything so the whole thing is just kinda awkward.


Instead, Generation Z are hunkering down in each others' closets!



That's right. Instead of going out to look at outrageously priced clothes -- like really guys who wants to pay that much for underwear -- Gen Z are spending down time among clothes that are already paid for. Each others!


"I mean, Katy-Anne-Marie-Emilia and I are the same size and we already borrow so much of each other's clothes anyway," Dahlia Brightheart testifies, "Now we just kind of spend the weekends swapping each other's stuff and eating sushi over the shitty giant teddy bear her boyfriend got for her when he forgot to show up for her mom's funeral."


We at Under15 can confirm the teddy bear is indeed shitty.





Look at this creepy fur gremlin. Did Katy-Anne-Marie-Emilia's boyfriend steal human eyes and glue them on top of it's face? Like what the fuck?


"It's actually kind of like a Starbucks in there," Mrs. Brightheart continues even though I said the interview was over, "She has this little plug in air conditioner that keeps it smelling like pumpkin spice, and these ergonomic shelves that make everything look sort of Pinterest-y. I feel like I'm in like a really hipstery bar I can't really afford to be in, and the owner has all these shelves with shoes and stuff to make the patrons 'feel at home' and that they're 'among family' even though 99% of the people I know hate their families and someone will 100% steal all the decorative sweaters as soon as he turns his back."




"Also the sangria cost like fifty bucks and is served in a leather shoe?"


We immediately understood what Katy-Anne-Marie-Emilia's example looked like.


Despite coming in with reservations, this new closet idea ended up selling itself as a novel concept. And we're buying it, because it's free and we really can't afford to be snobby about articles considering how much traffic this site gets.


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